Handling Rejection in Dating With Grace

Me: "I had an amazing time with you this evening. I’d love to see you again. Is 7 pm Friday okay? We can catch a movie."

Him: "Me too. Definitely. I will see you there!"

We didn't see a movie that Friday because he didn't show up. I got ghosted.

Ghosting is a cruel way to communicate disinterest — but no matter how someone rejects you, it will always hurt. So - how should you handle rejection in dating? In this article, we will reveal some actionable dating rejection advice because it's inevitable that we will all be rejected at least once.

Acknowledge What Has Happened 

In life, it doesn't matter what has happened to us; if something doesn't turn out the way we expect it to, it can take a toll on us. When things do go as we hoped, it’s normal to feel hurt and confused.

 Nobody expects to be rejected. However, it's essential to acknowledge what has happened to you by accepting the rejection and processing your feelings.

Accept That You Have Been Rejected 

The first step to handling romantic rejection is to accept it. It may sound like a simple, no-brainer tip- but it's easier said than done. You must understand and acknowledge that "no" means "no." They have rejected you, and you need to respect that, even if it's painful.

Don't try to push further in hopes that they will change their mind. Please don't buy them expensive gifts to win their hearts or affection. You will waste your money. Don't keep yourself on hold for them; chances are they are not coming back for you. 

You don't want to be the person who doesn't take no for an answer; you are so much better than that. Nobody wants to be perceived as a stalker or a psycho, like that guy in Mariah Carey's music video.

Let Yourself Feel Your Emotions 

It may seem like you don't need to be told to feel your feelings because, well, those hurt feelings are the reason you are reading this article.

However, you may find that you try to run away or escape your feelings because you don't want to have to deal with the pain and hurt you feel. Yet, all emotions are important and valuable.

For instance, the sadness you feel is an indicator you have lost someone valuable-  if you also feel angry, it just means you haven't achieved your goal of finding a compatible life partner.

So feel your feelings. Do you need to take several days off work to Netflix and chill? You may want to grab a few bags of Doritos and feel free to cry and throw some chips at the tv screen when Gigi says, "how can he already not like me!?"

You are human, and it's normal to feel the way you do now. So don't bury your hurt beneath a smile or extra hours at the office. That doesn't work long-term.

Coping with rejection is easier if you allow yourself to feel your feelings. In addition, those feelings may guide you to find information that may improve your life- like the advice you are reading right now. 

Adjust Your Thinking and Expectations 

Our thinking affects our perception, and the way we perceive things dictates our emotions and feelings. How you think about the rejection will determine how you feel and how soon you can get over it. Consider these facts:

You Reject Other People Too

I hate to be the one to say it but let's be honest; we all reject people. For instance, If they do not have the qualities we seek in a partner, we turn them down and often don't brood over our decision. It's just how life works. Remembering this simple fact can help you in overcoming rejection.

You Are Not The Only One They Have Rejected 

Repeat after me, "I am not the only one they have rejected. So I don't need to take this personally." The other people they rejected didn't meet their expectations either. 

So before you dye your red hair blonde, it may have nothing to do with you- or your hair. And, if it is about your hair, you dodged a bullet. Would you want such a person as your soulmate?

It's Only Right For Them To Select The Best Match

If anyone has tried to hire a matchmaker to find their ideal partner, they may have experience with disappointment in romantic relationships. They are not likely to settle for less than what they want. Wouldn't you do the same? They may have expressed interest in you, but perhaps found someone more compatible with their lifestyle and personality a few days or weeks into dating you. So what if they choose them over you? 

It just means they want the person they think it's best for them. It won’t make you happy, but maybe you should be grateful. You don’t want to spend months or years on a relationship, only to realize you've adjusted your life to be compatible with theirs. 

Rejection is Often Not About You, But Them 

For example, you may think that the color blue is the best color in the world; guess what? Someone else thinks otherwise; they may hate the color blue in all its shades. 

It's a matter of personal preferences. 

So don't beat yourself up if someone rejects you. The rejection is often about them and not you. It's often about what they want and not you. Do you get the point? 

Accept Feedback And Make Adjustments

I do not want to hurt your feelings any further. But, still, I must tell you that sometimes you are rejected because of bad behaviour, a terrible attitude, or an outrageous display of poor etiquette.

Often we want to believe that we do not have to change a thing about ourselves and that the right person should accept us the way we are. But, no, they won't.

Little things such as putting away your phone when on a date, listening to your date, and not talking over them can go a long way.

If you want to learn to handle rejection in dating with grace, then you need to be willing to accept feedback and make necessary adjustments.

Protect Your Mental Well-Being 

If you have been rejected by a match or someone you thought you were perfect for, it can hurt like a deep wound and erode your mental well-being. Dealing with rejection in dating is difficult.

You may begin to question your self-worth and value as a person. You may conclude that no one will ever want you because, perhaps, you are not deserving of love. Therefore, you should, by all means, look out for yourself.

Positive self-talk is one of the most effective ways to reaffirm your self-worth. Write down positive daily affirmations and read the words out loud to yourself every morning when you wake up. 

Daily affirmations will help keep your thoughts positive, improve self-confidence, and motivate you to focus on your goals. 

Another way to keep your sanity amid dating rejection is through a daily self-care routine. 

Ideally, it would help if you didn't abandon your daily self-care routine for anything. 

Instead, continue eating clean, exercising, and meditating. Whatever you do to stay grounded, you want to keep doing that.

If your feelings get overwhelming, try speaking with a trusted friend. You may also benefit from going to therapy.

Give Love Another Chance But Don't Put Your Life On Hold For It

Love is not the problem, so don't give up on finding it. If you had a car accident and survived the incident, you may be scared to get into a car again- but that doesn’t mean you can’t do it.

Similarly, it may take some time to get over rejection but do not close your heart to love. It will help if you do not alienate yourself from others. 

Let's face it, we are social beings, and everyone needs love. However, don't focus your entire life on finding romantic love; that will not help you find it faster. 

Instead, enjoy and nurture your relationships with family, friends, and colleagues.

Live your life. Be assured that you will find love at the right time. It will not be late!

Let's Wrap It Up

Acknowledge that you have been rejected by feeling your emotions and accepting the rejection. Then, adjust your thinking and view matters from the other person's perspective.

The rejection is often not about you but them. If you have been given constructive criticism about approaching your love life, accept it with grace and work on yourself.

Protect your mental health through self-care activities, daily affirmations, and support from others. Don't shut the door of your heart to love; just follow these tips for dealing with rejection, take time to heal, be happy, and get back to dating. Love is not the problem, and neither are you.