The 5 Stages of a Relationship
Why 88% of People Never Make It to Stage 3
Understanding the five stages of a relationship can help you assess where you are and where you want to go. Each stage requires different kinds of investment and growth, and surprisingly, most people (88%) never reach the crucial third stage. Let’s look at each stage in depth.
1. Infatuation or Honeymoon Stage
What it is: The early days of excitement, attraction, and intense emotions.
How it feels: You’re fascinated by your partner and feel a “honeymoon high.” Differences are overlooked, and everything feels perfect.
Common behaviors: You spend lots of time together, feeling intensely connected. People often rush into serious commitments here.
Challenges: Mistaking infatuation for lasting love, avoiding discussions on compatibility, values, and goals.
2. The Reality Stage
What it is: Infatuation fades, and the “real” person begins to show.
How it feels: Small irritations emerge, and the initial magic wears off. This can feel disappointing or even disorienting.
Common behaviors: People may feel tempted to pull back or distance themselves. Many couples fight or even break up here.
Challenges: Navigating conflict, accepting differences, and learning to communicate effectively.
Note: Many relationships end here as couples discover incompatibilities or struggle with the “real” version of their partner.
3. Stability Stage (Only 12% of people reach this stage)
What it is: The stage where you achieve comfort and balance.
How it feels: You feel secure and trusting; you accept each other’s flaws without trying to change each other.
Common behaviors: Honest, mature conversations become easier. Couples often make future plans, like moving in together or making long-term commitments.
Challenges: The relationship can feel “too stable” or mundane. Avoiding complacency is key to keeping the bond strong.
Why only 12% make it here: The reality stage can feel hard to get past. Accepting a partner fully, without idealization, is challenging but necessary for real intimacy.
4. Commitment Stage
What it is: Both partners consciously choose to be together, fully committed to a shared future.
How it feels: A sense of partnership and long-term investment. The relationship has depth and stability.
Common behaviors: Big commitments, like marriage, having children, or other life milestones, are often made here.
Challenges: Growth can still happen individually, so maintaining independence while supporting each other is important.
5. Deep Love or Bliss Stage
What it is: This is the stage of unconditional love, where your connection feels effortless yet profound.
How it feels: You know each other’s strengths and flaws deeply, yet you feel more committed and emotionally close than ever.
Common behaviors: Couples here often inspire others, maintaining affection and intimacy while also pursuing individual goals.
Challenges: The focus shifts from “getting to this point” to maintaining it long-term. Couples may still face challenges but have the tools and trust to work through them.
Why 88% Don’t Make It to Stage 3
Getting past the Reality Stage requires acceptance and compromise that many couples aren’t prepared for. The intensity of early-stage love makes it easy to overlook or downplay differences. But for those who make it through to Stability, the rewards are genuine: a real foundation for deep, lasting connection.
The path to lasting love is a journey that takes work, patience, and commitment at every stage. If you’re struggling to move beyond one of these stages, know that it’s possible with the right mindset and dedication.
