How to determine a red flag, and how to deal with them

First of all, what is a red flag you ask? Well they are indicators that something needs to be questioned or otherwise validated. Often these are clues that something may be trouble in the future. Being able to spot these early on in a relationship can help save you a lot of time wasted with or on someone. Let’s break down what some are, but I will preface by saying that everyone has a different idea of what a red flag may be for them.

· Red Flag #1: Lack of communication. These individuals find it difficult to talk about issues or express how they feel. Often, when it would seem most important to be open and honest, they distance themselves emotionally, leaving their partner hanging, or having to deal with a situation on their own

· Red Flag #2: Irresponsible, immature, and unpredictable. Some people have trouble mastering basic life skills—taking care of themselves, managing their finances and personal space, holding onto a job, and making plans for their life and future. Small crises surrounding the way they live their daily life may take up a lot of time and energy.

· Red Flag #3: Lack of trust. When a person has difficulty being honest with himself or herself, it may be hard for them to be honest with you. Some of this behavior may not be calculated and malicious but simply a learned way or habit of coping. However, being out-and-out lied to is a no-brainer. A person who holds himself or herself unaccountable for their actions lacks integrity and lacks respect for their partner.

· Red Flag #4: Controlling behavior. Similarly, a partner may attempt to “divide and conquer,” driving a wedge between you and other significant people in your life. They may be jealous of your ongoing relationships with these people or simply feel the need to control where you go and who you associate with, limiting your world to allow in only what is important to them.